" The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense
" When you're down and out, something always turns up -- and it's usually the noses of your friends.
" From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
" The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.
" I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
" Seeing a murder on television, can help work off one's antagonisms.
And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some!
" I'll moider da bum!
" The camera makes everyone a tourist in other people's reality, and eventually in one's own.
" Kiss and make up...
but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss.
From: "Tuesday's with Morrie"
" We must learn to love one another or die.... We must!
" Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.
" The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
" I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
" No matter how slow the film, Spirit always stands still long enough for the photographer it has chosen.
" It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
" The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were.
" Why should people go out and pay to see bad films when they can stay at home and see bad television for nothing?
" Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic
" You don't write because you want to say something; you write because you've got something to say.
" The faster I write the better my output. If I'm going slow I'm in trouble. It means I'm pushing the words instead of being pulled by them.
" The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
" I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
" The problem is not that television presents us with entertaining subject matter,
but, that all subject matter is presented as entertaining.…
" I'll give you a definite maybe.
" The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.
" I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
" Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
" Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by favoring to attempt.
" It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
" The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them!
" All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
" Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
Advise to a young Richard Roundtree
" Whatever you do in this business, It's much easier than lifting heavy things.
" Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.
To a young Eugene Roach on the subject of acting
" Don't ever let 'em catch you at it.
" My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
" Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
Sage Advise to a Young Oregonian, Barbara Niven
" If you want to make it in show business, get the hell out of Oregon!
" No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else's draft.
" I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it.
I said, Thyroid problem?
" I can't wait to one day shoot in Detroit and say 'Let's have this double for Toronto'.
" Do, or do not. - There is no 'try'..
While attending a Production Meeting
" This is no place to ask questions!!
" Life ain't no dress rehearsal.
" The average American family hasn't time for television.
" Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
" What's this business of being a writer?
It's just putting one word after another.
" I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.
" Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.
" Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
" The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for and I hate very much to leave it.